Sir Lancelot revealed as steward

Following a mixed and often critical reaction to the way Race Control handled the start and re-start of the Canadian Grand Prix, the FIA have stuck to their guns and named Sir Lancelot from Monty Python as the fourth steward for this weekend's European Grand Prix.

You're in too much peril!

Charlie Whiting, speaking ahead of the race, said that Canada had shown the importance of taking into account the weather conditions when it came to driver safety.

That's why we've taken this move. We thought, if anyone could save the drivers from a minimum amount of peril when having the maximum amount of fun, it would be Sir Lancelot. We don't care if Zoot has been a bad, naughty girl, it's just too dangerous to get involved in that kind of situation, certainly not without a Safety Car at least.

What dangers can we expect from the upcoming race then?

Well, seeing as it's Valencia, the one place we need rain to liven things up the most, it will be bone dry and scorching hot, so we'll be giving 10-place grid penalties to anyone not using both factors of sunscreen during the race. We'll also be mandating four re-starts so the drivers have some time in the shade under their umbrellas and so we've invited Rihanna back for another race.